


bathymetry

by cuddlebros



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Broken Hearted Makoto, Multi, POV First Person, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 08:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2461355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlebros/pseuds/cuddlebros
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto feels like the singular casualty of Haru and Rin's dreams. </p>
<p>'it hurts knowing that you have flowed over the space i left to compound into something greater'</p>
            </blockquote>





	bathymetry

**Author's Note:**

> bathymetry is the study of undersea topography, from what i gather

I pick up the phone once again.

 

It’s been a year, and the sight of the two of you clutching medals and hands on podiums feels like it’s light years away. A year ago I thought that the tears would blur the sight, but I see you clearly and my heart doesn’t feel like it’s tearing through my chest to get to you.

 

-

 

I wonder what it feels like to be pressed against your skin as I fall asleep (how could I have forgotten?). Does it feel like the return to shore; the reassurance of dry ground? Or does it feel like soaring, the unfamiliarity of something others can only wish for? Do you smile as he wraps around you, clingy and needy, no doubt, while I'm not there?

 

It's been months, and I doubt your digits remember the bathymetry of my skin, too busy mapping out his with dexterous hands. Why can I not wash the feel of you from my fingers? Why are both of you etched into my fingerprints like your DNA wills me to miss you?

 

-

 

i wonder if you think about me (in a smell as he cooks breakfast / the sight of water spinning tornadoes down the plug) -  if he thinks of me, ever (in the salt on the wind as it comes off the shore / the matted fur of the stray that will only ever allow you to touch it).

 

it's been weeks, and the weight of my limbs is all that is holding me back from returning to you. the both of you float higher than i. or do I just sink faster? separation wills me to speak but my lungs fill faster than i can empty them, and though this liquid is fuelling your dreams - it's drowning me. (do you take turns practicing foreign languages that i could never grasp? is he learning fast, Rin?)

 

-

 

it's been three days and honestly if i had known this would be the last time you'd call i'd have held on for hours i'd have spoken my mind but i can never seem to let go of the things that keep me stuck here so i didn't

i held my tongue and you couldn't hold back yours

if i had known then i would have been on the first plane to you but i didn't and now there is no place for me with you

the both of you deserve each other and i am sure i will smile and cheer at your next competition through tears from my place on my sofa as i watch you drag the best out of each other and leave everything else behind you

but it hurts knowing that you have flowed over the space i left to compound into something greater

that i was the dam holding you back and now i am crumbling and

  
it’s been three days

**Author's Note:**

> a big thank you to my (bestest ever) beta reader: clottedcurls
> 
> a change in style. (a big, big change in style)  
> if you cant tell: the fic sort of works backwards, getting closer to the split the closer to the end you read.


End file.
